Gratitude

We have so much to be thankful for this year. We have had a lot of challenges and trials, but through them we have grown stronger. I am so thankful for these trials. Because of them I have been able to form a better relationship with my Father in Heaven, my testimony has been strengthened and I have come to see the blessings that have come because of them. I have also been able to strengthen my marriage and have a better and more loving relationship with Brent, who is the best man I could ever wish to have as my eternal companion and as my best friend, and I am so grateful for him in my life! I wouldn’t change this life or the trials I have been handed for anything. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but they have made me into the person I am. I am closer to my God than I ever had been before and I can feel his love for me in everything he does. I don’t know the “why’s” behind everything, but I do know that whatever Heavenly Father does is for our good.

We have been fighting 4 years for the miracle of having a precious baby added to our family. It has been the hardest trial/journey we have ever faced. It has been the cause of many tears and sleepless nights for both Brent & me. We have not had the opportunity to do many medical treatments, not only because of finances but most importantly because we have the feeling that it is not the right path for us. It has been the hardest part of this whole journey - not fighting, but just being patient and having faith... knowing that Heavenly Father will keep his promises. It has also been a hard thing for many people to accept about us, and many have said very hurtful things because of it. They do not understand that even though we haven’t done everything possible for the chance to conceive, that it does not make it any easier to deal with or stop the ache in our hearts. It has been such a roller-coaster each month hoping and praying that our miracle happens.

This year I have tried to turn my focus not on my aching heart and empty arms, but on my Savior and Heavenly Father. They have blessed me so much during this past year and through my entire life. I will be a better person and mother because of the things I have faced in this trial, if I don’t give up and endure in faith. Just because God has not given me a child, does not mean that he doesn’t love me and want what is best for me. He wants me to be happy and turn to him when the pain is too much to carry on my own. To keep going with hope and faith. It is such a blessing and a comfort to know that because of the atonement, my Savior knows my pain and sorrow. He knows my struggles and the reason behind each tear. He knows exactly how I feel... but he also sees the light at the end - so he is able to guide and help me through every step of this trial. Knowing that the same Jesus Christ who walked on the earth, healing spiritual and physical sickness of every kind, can heal the sickness that infertility creates in my heart. He lives, and the knowledge of His love and of His Atonement is a greater gift than any other — even the gift of being a mother. Instead of asking “why me?” I now try to ask “why not me?” I chose this life and the trials in it in the pre-existence. I know I can over come everything because I know God would not have given me it if I couldn’t. I can do anything with his help. I am still dealing with this trial every day and know I will have ups and downs, but because of my savior I know things will be ok and Brent & I can make it!

Thank you Heavenly Father!

This year for Thanksgiving we had the wonderful opportunity to spend it with my Family. We had my grandparents, Uncles & Aunts, and cousins too. It was so wonderful spending time with family I don’t see very often. The only thing that would have made it better was if Brent didn’t have to work the next day. So sadly he left shortly after dinner. I stayed with my family because I really didn’t want to sit home and do nothing. It was so great spending so much time with my siblings. I was also able to pick up our car from the shop! We are so excited to have 2 cars again! I drove it home Monday morning after getting it registered. The only down side is that it still doesn’t run great. The price was 400$ more than what the quote was for and it still barely runs. Oh well, at least I am not sitting in the car anymore for hours waiting for Brent to get off work everyday. Although I will miss the time in the car I used as scripture study… it really will be nice to be home and comfortable. Lol

Good-bye to a great friend

Lost a great guy and friend today. We all miss you and love you so much! I am so blessed to have known you in my life! Even though I haven't seen you in years I think of you often and I will always think of you and Susan as my other Mom & Dad. I have so many many wonderful memories of you! You were such a huge part of my childhood. Thank you for everything....... for being in my life! I love you Larry Worley!

A day with the girls and family

I had the fun experience of going with all of the Cox girls to see the new Twilight movie - Breaking Dawn pt 1. It is a tradition for them to all go, and this was the first time my schedule would allow me to go with. It was so much fun spending time with my in-laws. I don't get to do it very often and I wish I could do it much more often. It was a hard day dealing with depression for me, but I really loved every minute spent with them. They are such a amazing group of women. We also went and ate yummy mexican food and just had a fun time talking. I can't wait till the next movie to do it again!

When we got back, Brent and I ran to my parents to see Paige in her first High School play. It was Footloose. They did a such great job and it was such a blast watching Paige in every dance number. She really did great and the 80's style totally works for her...so much that I didn't recognize her in some of the numbers! It was even good to see my evil band teacher (I LOTH this man) only because it was fun watching my whole family make fun of him. Brent was even going to go confront him. Man I love my family.

Thanks everyone for such a wonderful weekend!

BOO!

This past Halloween was so much fun! We planned such an amazing party and weekend with my family!

My family came down the Friday before Halloween, and as soon as they got here we all headed down to St. George. We ate at the Mongolian BBQ and excitedly headed over to Tuachan for Thriller! Brent and I saw it last year so it was so much fun sharing it with my family. They had most of the same performances but some new ones. I loved every minute and we all had so much fun! I think my favorite ones were still Frankenstein and his wife, the giggly girl, and the zombies!

Saturday, us girls did crafts all morning with my Relief Society, while the guys spent the morning playing games and doing whatever. After, we all went and watched Puss In Boots and got ready for our party. We had such a fun time. We had a Harry Potter party and we were all competing for the House Cup. We all dressed up, watched the first Harry Potter movie, and laughed so hard at all the stupid games we did. I got so into it that I even made little Firebolts and chocolate frogs for everyone. I loved that everyone got involved and got into it. We had all sorts of games and challenges for each person to do - from a target practice, rolling toilet paper around you, moving a cookie from you head into your mouth without using your hands, picking up cotton balls by using petroleum jelly on the end of your nose, and so many others. We all just about died laughing. It was so much fun. I enjoyed every second I was able to spend with my family and making them laugh. Thank you so much for coming down!!!

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A weekend with Darin

We had Brent's younger brother Darin come down for a weekend. This was the first time we have ever really been able to spend time with just him. We really enjoyed every minute he was here. One of the best things we were able to do was make another trip to Zions. He had never been there before so it was really fun to show him around. We even did a hike Brent & I had never tried before. It was neat experiencing new things. Thanks so much for coming, Darin. It was great getting to know you better. You are welcome to come down again whenever!!

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A weekend with Mom & Paige

This past weekend for Labor Day Weekend, my Mom and sister came down for a visit. It was so much fun spending time with them. My sister is honestly the silliest person I know. It's fun (but really makes me feel old) seeing her grow into a young lady and hearing about boys and high school.

On Saturday we were going to go hiking in Zions but no one could wake up in time, so we decided to go shopping and get pedicures. Brent even came with us. Mom and Paige had never gotten pedicures done before, so it was fun to experience it with them. Boy was it relaxing and felt so great! After, we went to Sally's and bought hair dye and stuff for our nails. It was so fun just hanging out with my family all day. I loved it!

Sunday was a very emotional day at church with baby blessings and lessons on Eternal Families. I was very grateful to have my mom with me. Afterward, we had a very yummy dinner Brent made, and had fun painting nails and dying our hair.

Monday, we all woke up early to go to Zions. Paige and Mom hadn't been hiking there before so we made sure to take them to some of our favorite places like weeping rock and the emerald pools. It was perfect hiking weather with it cloudy and sprinkling occasionally. It was such a fun day and a wonderful weekend. Thanks Mom & Paige for coming. We love having you guys come down and spending time with you!

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Tuachan Trip #2

The radio was advertising discount tickets to go and see Grease at the Tuachan. Of course we couldn't pass it up, so on Tuesday we packed up to go to Tuachan again in a weeks time. We were both so excited. I have always loved the movie and seeing it in life was so much fun! We even had 2nd row seats (amazing for only $10 each)! It was all I could do not to sing along to all the songs. They had a few malfunctions with the old cars that they drove on the stage, but over all it was great! My favorite scene was "Beauty School Dropout" - they did such a great job with costumes, dancing, singing, and acting. It was perfect! Every actor fit his/her role perfectly and it was fun pointing out those who were also in the Little Mermaid. After the play I was able to have all the cast -minus one- sign my program! Definitely another wonderful night at Tuachan!