Gratitude

We have so much to be thankful for this year. We have had a lot of challenges and trials, but through them we have grown stronger. I am so thankful for these trials. Because of them I have been able to form a better relationship with my Father in Heaven, my testimony has been strengthened and I have come to see the blessings that have come because of them. I have also been able to strengthen my marriage and have a better and more loving relationship with Brent, who is the best man I could ever wish to have as my eternal companion and as my best friend, and I am so grateful for him in my life! I wouldn’t change this life or the trials I have been handed for anything. It certainly hasn’t been easy, but they have made me into the person I am. I am closer to my God than I ever had been before and I can feel his love for me in everything he does. I don’t know the “why’s” behind everything, but I do know that whatever Heavenly Father does is for our good.

We have been fighting 4 years for the miracle of having a precious baby added to our family. It has been the hardest trial/journey we have ever faced. It has been the cause of many tears and sleepless nights for both Brent & me. We have not had the opportunity to do many medical treatments, not only because of finances but most importantly because we have the feeling that it is not the right path for us. It has been the hardest part of this whole journey - not fighting, but just being patient and having faith... knowing that Heavenly Father will keep his promises. It has also been a hard thing for many people to accept about us, and many have said very hurtful things because of it. They do not understand that even though we haven’t done everything possible for the chance to conceive, that it does not make it any easier to deal with or stop the ache in our hearts. It has been such a roller-coaster each month hoping and praying that our miracle happens.

This year I have tried to turn my focus not on my aching heart and empty arms, but on my Savior and Heavenly Father. They have blessed me so much during this past year and through my entire life. I will be a better person and mother because of the things I have faced in this trial, if I don’t give up and endure in faith. Just because God has not given me a child, does not mean that he doesn’t love me and want what is best for me. He wants me to be happy and turn to him when the pain is too much to carry on my own. To keep going with hope and faith. It is such a blessing and a comfort to know that because of the atonement, my Savior knows my pain and sorrow. He knows my struggles and the reason behind each tear. He knows exactly how I feel... but he also sees the light at the end - so he is able to guide and help me through every step of this trial. Knowing that the same Jesus Christ who walked on the earth, healing spiritual and physical sickness of every kind, can heal the sickness that infertility creates in my heart. He lives, and the knowledge of His love and of His Atonement is a greater gift than any other — even the gift of being a mother. Instead of asking “why me?” I now try to ask “why not me?” I chose this life and the trials in it in the pre-existence. I know I can over come everything because I know God would not have given me it if I couldn’t. I can do anything with his help. I am still dealing with this trial every day and know I will have ups and downs, but because of my savior I know things will be ok and Brent & I can make it!

Thank you Heavenly Father!

This year for Thanksgiving we had the wonderful opportunity to spend it with my Family. We had my grandparents, Uncles & Aunts, and cousins too. It was so wonderful spending time with family I don’t see very often. The only thing that would have made it better was if Brent didn’t have to work the next day. So sadly he left shortly after dinner. I stayed with my family because I really didn’t want to sit home and do nothing. It was so great spending so much time with my siblings. I was also able to pick up our car from the shop! We are so excited to have 2 cars again! I drove it home Monday morning after getting it registered. The only down side is that it still doesn’t run great. The price was 400$ more than what the quote was for and it still barely runs. Oh well, at least I am not sitting in the car anymore for hours waiting for Brent to get off work everyday. Although I will miss the time in the car I used as scripture study… it really will be nice to be home and comfortable. Lol

25 Days of Gratefulness

To start of this Thanksgiving season, I thought I would make a list of 25 things I am most grateful for. Here we go!

I am grateful for...........

#1. The Gospel. Without the gospel in my life I would be lost. I am so grateful to have the knowledge that I do that the Savior atoned for my sins, died for me, and that he now lives. He loves me and wants/knows what is best for me. I know that I am not perfect .. nor do I expect to ever be, but I am trying everyday to become better in every way. And I am grateful that if I do the best I can every day, I can return to my Heavenly Father.

#2. My eternal companion. I am truly grateful for Brent and all he does for me. I am grateful that we were able to be sealed for time and all eternity in the Manti Temple 4 years ago and that every day since we have tried to be worthy of that great blessing. Knowing we will see and be with all of our loved ones after this life. And knowing when we finally are able to be blessed with kids they will be sealed to our eternal family forever.

#3. Family. I love my family so much and I am so grateful to them for all they do for Brent & I. I love being able to strengthen our relationships with each of you! I love you all!

#4. Jobs. Especially in this trying economic time, I am grateful for our jobs and for the constant income we have coming in.

#5. Blessings. I am so truly grateful for all that my Heavenly Father has done for me and my family. I love knowing that he will not try me above what I am able and that after the trial I am able to look back and see Gods hand in all that happened and the blessing that came.

#6. My little Gemma Bean... The cutest dog in the whole world! I love how she gets excited to have us home. All the kisses and the cuddling. She has made our home so much more happy since she came into our lives.

#7. The Priesthood in my home. I am so grateful to you Brent for being a worthy Priesthood holder!

#8. I'm grateful for warm bubble baths after a long day.

#9.I'm grateful for beautiful sunsets.

#10. I'm grateful for my friends and their willingness to put up with me.... especially when I get silly.

#11. I am grateful for this beautiful and amazing earth. I am grateful for the love I have of being outdoors and exploring. There are so many amazing things to see and do, especially in Southern Utah. I am grateful for being able to visit and travel to so many marvelous places like the Grand Canyon, Zions, Bryce, Cedar Breaks and so many many others.

#12. I am grateful for the chance I have to read the scriptures and Ensign everyday and the spirit I always feel because of it. I love and am so grateful for the quiet time I have while sitting in my car before work to read, search, and ponder the wonderful scriptures and talks.

#13. I am grateful for the talks I have with my Mom. I am grateful that I can go to her with all my problems and issues I am facing in my life and know that she loves me and will listen.

#14. I'm grateful for 4-wheeler rides, daddy-daughter dates, for all the time with my Dad and all the hugs that make me cry.

#15. For our health.

#16. I'm grateful for all the times I get to have my brother & sister down to visit and all the fun memories we make.

#17. For all the things that make me and everyone I love laugh. For all the moments of pure joy and happiness.

#18. I'm grateful for all the time I get to spend with my best friend & hubby. I am grateful for all the nights we snuggle on the couch, for all our adventures, and for the books we read together.

#19. I'm grateful for rain showers and for the rainbows that follow.

#20. I'm grateful for extremely yummy food especially when its my hubby making it to make me smile.

#21. I'm grateful for every kind of music. Music has always been a part of who I am. I love how every type touches your soul in a different way and you can use it anytime to escape even if it's for just a little while.

#22. I'm grateful for patience and learning to have faith that all things will happen in God's time.

#23. For our home. Its not a house and it's not that big, but it is a wonderful blessing to have shelter and a place that we can come home to from work and school and escape the world.

#24. For our Freedom and all those who fight to keep it for us all.

#25. For our amazing bodies and all that we are able to accomplish with them.

Heavenly Father has given us all that we have and are. We are truly grateful for his presence in our lives. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

A Time of Thanks

This Thanksgiving we have so much to be thankful for! We are so grateful for our many wonderful friends and our family, and for our little Gemma. We are grateful for our home, for our jobs, for electricity, indoor plumbing, & our health. For the love that we have for each other & for our eternal marriage. For this great country, the freedom that we have, & for all those who have given so much to keep us safe & to secure our rights and freedom. But most of all we are grateful for the gospel in our lives. To know that we are children of god, having the priesthood & the spirit constantly in our home. For our wonderful Prophet and leaders of the Church, for the many missionaries preaching the gospel to others. For our savior Jesus Christ and his atoning sacrifice for us all. For his humble birth and the exemplary life he lived.

This year we were able to travel up to my parents house. The trip up seemed so long - I was so glad that Gemma did so well traveling. We brought a blanket with us and she crawled right under it and slept the whole way. For Thanksgiving the next day we went over to my Aunt & Uncles place to eat dinner. My DeLeeuw Grandparents were also there. It was so good to see everyone & the food was so delicious! Both Brent & I ate way too much!

On Friday we hung out & watched movies. We didn't want to wake up early for the madness of "Black Friday" so we waited until we knew the rush would be over before we went. We didn't get much besides movies for Christmas. That night we went to the town light parade. It was short but fun to watch, they had a lot of clever ideas. They had the Polar Express, a bunch of Who's from Whoville & of course the Grinch and Santa Clause. We took Gemma with us ... she loved being warm & snug in Brent's coat.

On Saturday we went up to see Brent's parents. It was really nice to see them & some siblings. We ended up helping Karen make her wedding announcements (which turned out really cute). When we got back to my family's, we watched Star Trek & played the longest game of cards ever with my brother Cameron and his friends. It was really fun & we all laughed so hard!

On Sunday, Mom made muffins for breakfast. After we ate them all we had a hilarious fight with the foil liners. We turned a bunch into Frisbees & even more into foil balls. We were all laughing & running all over the house. Mom & Cam were being especially silly!

It we such a great weekend! I loved seeing & hanging out with so many family members. It will definitely be hard to go back to work and to snow after such a wonderful trip!

Thanksgiving 2008

Brent & I have so much to be thankful for. We have so many wonderful and caring family & friends, our home and our jobs, the gospel and the spirit and happiness that it brings, and our ever-growing love that we have for each other, and so many other things. We are so truly blessed!

This year we were at the Cox's for Thanksgiving. It was so nice to see a lot of family. Most of the family was there. We missed not seeing Karen and Michelle. Early Thanksgiving morning, the boys and Caitlin went to the park to play the annual football game. It was really fun for me to watch. Brent had fun colliding with Darin. Below are some video clips and pictures of the game. Thanksgiving was really eventful! We were all fortunate to share the experience of Darin receiving his mission call. He was called to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in the Washington Everett Mission. Congrats Darin!! We also received news of Karen's engagement to her boyfriend Ryan. We are so happy for you guys! Brent's family cooked so much food. It was so delicious! We ate way too much and felt sick the rest of the day (but it was well worth it)!

Later that day Brent and I left to travel to Manti, so that I could stay with my family while Brent had to go back to Cedar City to work. We were at least able to visit with my family a little bit before Brent had to leave. Friday morning, Mom and I decided to sleep in a little and go up to Provo for "Black Friday" shopping. It was so much fun having a girls day. Paige even came along. We didn't do much shopping though on account that there were so many people. It was so nice to be out and about though! Saturday morning Cameron and I went to stand in line to get christmas tree tags. It was so cold!! Cam and I got very creative when it came to keeping us warm. We were laughing so hard! I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with Cam. He is the funniest person I know! I also got to spend a bit of time with Dad. It was nice to be daddy's little girl again and to be able to snuggle up to him while watching a movie. Sunday morning we all decided to trudge up Manti Canyon and look for our trees. Below is a picture of me with my petite little tree. Mom and Dad were calling it a "Charlie Brown" tree and that they should strap it to the top of their car as a joke. I think its cute and perfect for our apartment though.